Last Minute Luxuries

Tonight is my last night in Canada for three months. I am excited, nervous, anxious, joyful, terrified and surprisingly calm. There are a lot of things that I am going to miss: electricity, running water, showers, familiar food and all of those comforts. But most of all I will miss my family and friends. They are my support right now. They will be missed most dearly. I know that I will make new friends in Tanzania and that those relationships are part of my reason for leaving – I still just worry. But as I think through my worries, I find myself realizing that they're really not based on much; just fear. I know I will make friends. I know that God has provided me a strong support system in Tanzania. I know all these things and so I need to trust.

As I was preparing to fund raise for this trip I had worries. But God revealed to me that I just needed to trust. Not to trust that He will do what I want Him to and even if I think that what I'm doing is what He wants – things don't always go my way. Be He told me in my Spirit to just trust – not to trust that the money would come through and not that my trip to Tanzania would absolutely happen – but to just trust that He would do good things with my life because He loves me and wants to use me. And so today I trust and tomorrow I leave. And my leaving makes me think back to what I read in Donald Miller's book Through Painted Deserts. His words were those that first made me want to seek this adventure and reassured me that everything would be alright. He wrote, “...and you will not be alone. You have never been alone. Don't worry. Everything will still be here when you get back. It is you who will have changed.”

And with that, I go.