What's Love Got To Do With It?

November 1...

I know, I know. It's a terrible title, but I couldn't help myself.
Do you ever think about why we do things? I mean, have you just stopped in the middle of the day and just taken a second to think, “why am I doing this?” I have to admit that back home, I really didn't do that very often and whenever I did it was probably because I didn't want to be doing what I was doing. You know one of those exasperated moments on the subway, or preparing a lesson and most often while washing the dishes.

The other morning I woke up in the village to the typical sound of morning activities in the village: people talking and laughing, the sounds of getting water from the tap outside and of course all kinds of barnyard noises that I have become accustomed to. And to be honest, I didn't want to get up. I didn't want to have to go and wash my face and hair and leave the rest of me unwashed. I didn't want to eat oatmeal for the millionth time. And I certainly didn't want to have to struggle through another English lesson working hard to communicate through a barely common language. I wanted to be back home where there is warm water all the time. Lots of choice when it comes to breakfast. And the comforting thought of easy conversations with other English speakers.

In that moment I thought, “why am I doing this?” And I really had to think.

There are a lot of reasons I came to Tanzania: adventure, exploration, travel, being independent, learning more about God. All good things. But sometimes those things aren't enough to get you out of bed.

My mind went back to Donald Miller's, Blue Like Jazz and his chapter on Love. He talks about people (Christians) using love like money. He says, “I used love like money, but love doesn't work like money. It's not a commodity. When we barter with it, we all lose” (218-219). He goes on to say that we should forget the notion of doling out our love like currency; lavishing it on some and refusing to give to others who we don't like, or smell or have offended us or something. And that thought made me think about why I came to Tanzania.

Yes I came for all those reasons mentioned before, but at the core, at the centre of my reason for being here is love. Seriously. That's really it. It's not complicated but it's been hard sometimes. I am here to love other people like Jesus loved me: unconditionally. And that has lots of tangible manifestations, like teaching. Lying in bed that morning, I realized that through teaching I am showing love to my students: by being encouraging and learning about them and caring about them as people. That's love. But love is not always easy. And it's not the chemically dependant kind of love we see on the silver screen. I can't just stop loving people because I don't feel like it or I don't want to get out of bed. It's a choice. Jesus chose and so must I.

So I'm still going. Still trying to make each day count. Still trying to show God's unconditional love to those I meet here. And it's something I need to do back home too. And as long as I can, I will choose to love.